In my opinion, the internet craze that's going on right now is a lot like the short lived fascination with CB radios in the 70's. Were you alive back then? Were you one of the schlubs who plunked down $70 for the best CB that Radio shack had? Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with CB radios. In fact, the next time I spend money on my truck, a redneck cell phone is on the top of the list.

So what's your point Navigator? Well, my point is that the internet is usefull, but far too overhyped and overpriced. Do you pay money for the privelage of using CB, or just a one time fee for the radio? My philosophy is that if ya've got a computer, the internet for be free. So here it is, the cheapskate guide to life on the internet.

1. First step, ya need to get connected to the internet. You paying AOL $22 a month for crap? (I once did). If you're even paying $10 a month, it's too much. Go to Netzero. They'll hook you up with free access to the web. There's a lot crap you'll have to put up with, but hey, it's free. They'll even provide you with a free email address. That's two birds with one stone.

2. Wanna keep in touch with your AOL buddies once you wake up and cancel? Go to AOL and download instant messinger. You can IM all those AOL pervs like normal, except you're not paying $22 a month.

   But if you're looking for an above average buddie list manager, get ICQ. It's much better, and not controlled by AOL.

3. Download Netscape Navigator, and use it. If you're using Microshit's Internet exploiter, you're the devil's butt puppet. Not to mention that Netscape is the better browser.

4. Go to Tripod and get 11 megs of free space for your webpage.

5. Now that you've got a homepage, go to come.to to a short URL. Don'tcha think that http://members.buttpuppet.com/memberpages/~yourname/index.html is much harder to remember than http://come.to/yourname ?

6. You'll want to get a guestbook, so the visitors to your site can leave you hatemail. Go to Phaistos to get one.

7. Go to the Link Exchange to get a free counter for your website, and join a banner exchange program.

8. Happy free surfing, and if you need any help beyond this, don't bother me, and I'm not good at suffering fools.